This August, we miss her august presence...
Amma’s home call was during the wee hours of Monday, 12 July 2021. And we were all set to celebrate her 95th birthday in August.
This note, prepared
as a tribute to her, is not an emotional outpouring, but an attempt to jot down
who she was, as we all understood her, while her memories are still fresh.
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| Amma's Parents |
Amma was always
full of stories about her growing up days: the discipline at home, and the prevalent
mischief that happens in spite of that, as is natural in a household with many
children. The extensive plot surrounding the house, was at times, the camping
spot of forest dwelling nomads, and she had interesting stories of their lifestyle
and habits. During her stay at the Zenana Mission hostel, she amused herself trying
to copy the customs of the ‘madamaas’ (European lady missionaries), and with clandestine
attempts to learn cycling, climbing trees and the like. At Titus II College, she
had to participate in competitions, but since sports was a no-no for her, the
college brought in carroms competition just to involve her in.
Her marriage was
in 1964, to K C Eapen, Kunnath, Mallappally, an Indian Airlines employee based
in Mumbai. It must have been a cultural shock – an Orthodox lady (and that too,
a priest’s daughter) brought up in a village, getting married into a CSI
household, and being exposed to strange patterns of the Anglican liturgy and
singing, and the culture and social life of a busy city – but she took it all
in her stride.
Her travels by air
to Mumbai and the life there – all evolved as stories which kept her students
amused and amazed. Back-open blouses, high heels and sarees draped in style –
she was indeed a fashion statement! It was fun to watch her buy earrings and
bangles and enjoy shopping for sarees, even in her nineties.
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| Family snap - 1980 |
She was happy to become a mother-in-law in 1996, and a grandmother in 1998. Amma was with us, adjusting herself to all the demands of life. Her stay shuttled between Mallappally, Mavelikara and Kottayam, wherever we were. In 2018, she sought to be at her home and when she felt her health to be affected, she moved to a place nearby that offered assisted healthy living: there too, she was a trailblazer! But she had one demand then: we should be with her every weekend and also come for overnight stays on weekdays, as much as possible. A year later, she announced her decision to be with us for good, as she felt she needed this change from then on. However, her penchant for good food, travel, and living in style remained unchanged. For around two years, we were together at Mavelikara, permitting herself to be pampered by her daughter-in-law. An unplanned return to Mallappally during the covid stricken mid- summer of 2021 gave us ample time to be with her throughout. Her end was unexpected, but a perfect pause to a life that was robust till the end.
What makes her unique? Sure, we can speak a lot about that. To present it in brief: she had a glorious life, rejoicing in the blessings God gave her and attempting to spread sunshine wherever she was.
Amma’s attitude to
possessions was strange: she never bothered about the pension she got, or
enquired on how it was spent. But she always demanded that she should have some
money with her. For, she was a giver, who could not tolerate sending anyone
away without sharing what she had – something she continued till the last week
of her life.
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| Being part of the St. Mary's School Centenary |
The most vivid detail of her personality was that of a teacher. She used to bring books from her school library to her son, read out the English stories, and translate it to Malayalam. Teaching was her passion; English grammar was her forte. Many were the notes she prepared and meticulously written in her best handwriting, paper clippings she used to cut out and preserve, in her numerous diaries. Even in her old age, she loved to talk academics. People who visited her heard vivid narrations on the lives of Abdul Kalam and Stephen Hawking.
Amma loved fun,
and had a marvellous sense of humour. She took pride in the fact that she was
the officer of the Auxiliary Cadet Corps (similar to NCC) during the early days
of her career; she made us laugh with stories of her puny self, leading a parade
of girl cadets, marching through the public roads of her village, dressed in
uniform pants and shirt- way back in the 1960s! She was ready with stories
where she herself was a comic character. She did not mind making fun of us as
well. To her, the mobile phones we use were ‘planks glued to the ear’, and
working on the laptop was ‘the act of plucking grass’.
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| At Paliakkara St. George Orthodox Church |
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| Two former students of Titus II |
After marriage, there were occasions she had to travel to Mumbai, alone or with her school-going son. It could be by train, or by plane. She took all care and precaution, but she had a dynamism to move around and have all sorts of experiences. Even when she was aging, bring to her a plan to go out, and she was the first to get ready! Visits to various churches, Titus II College (to address a student community programme or for an alumni meet), programmes at her school, (centenary celebrations included) or occasions of celebration or bereavement in our relatives’ places, visits to the homes of her friends and colleagues: she was passionate about it all. She loved to celebrate her birthdays; for, life itself was a celebration for her. She enjoyed being in photographs, but no candids, please! She had to get ready and make herself presentable for it. And she was excited to have visitors. Her students include a Bishop, clergymen and people from all walks of life and she took pride in that.
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| Dining out in style! |
For any outing, she would be dressed up in style, and this she wanted to happen even for her last journey. She had given us specific instructions about her funeral. We feel her desires were honoured here too; we must’ve got her nod of approval!
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| With Steve |
Jecko, Anu, Steve
1 August 2021
